Okay, perhaps flood is too strong a word. But these four simple steps will ensure a soggy, musty basement for posterity!
Step 1: Build a two-story deck and set the support posts on top of the existing concrete patio. This way, the patio will sink on the side next to the basement window, channeling rainfall into your basement window well.
Step 2: Fill said basement window well with concrete. Yup, concrete. In fact, do it twice to make sure the concrete prevents water from entering the drainage tile and instead funnels it through the window, thus creating a trickling indoor water feature. Throw in a few treasures to reward the poor saps who have to rent a jackhammer to get the concrete out!
Step 3: To ensure that the water is only discovered by the musty carpet smell rather than, oh, by sight, sheetrock over the half of the basement window that is held together with packing tape. This way, the rainwater will flow, uninterrupted down the INSIDE of the wall and around the low spots beneath the carpet.
Step 4: Wall-to-wall carpeting. In the basement.
Disclaimer: In all fairness to the flippers who sold us this house, I’m pretty sure only Steps 3 and 4 were their doing. Still…